Last updated on November 5th, 2025 at 05:17 pm

Little Johnny Joke lovers, get ready to laugh out loud! If you’re searching for the funniest, most mischievous tales that never get old, you’ve just landed in the perfect place.

Packed with quick wit, cheeky comebacks, and hilarious punchlines, each Little Johnny joke delivers the kind of humor that keeps readers coming back for more.

From classroom chaos to clever life lessons, these jokes are the internet’s favorite for a reason.

Classic Little Johnny Jokes That Never Get Old 😂📚

• Little Johnny’s teacher asked if he could use a big word in a sentence. He said, I’m hungry. Can I use supper? 🍽️
  
• Little Johnny asked his dad, Why is the sky blue? Dad said, Because it’s sad it’s not green. 🌈
  
• Teacher: Johnny, use the word “inconceivable” in a sentence. Johnny: I can’t believe it’s inconceivable! 🤯
  
• Johnny told his mom, I broke my pencil. She said, That’s pointless now. ✏️
  
• Little Johnny said, Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide! 🐔
  
• Johnny asked his teacher, Can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: Why, Johnny? Johnny: I gotta go where nobody goes! 🚽
  
• Little Johnny said, My dog can do magic — he’s a Labracadabrador 🐶✨
  
• Johnny told his mom, I ate my homework because my teacher said it was a piece of cake. 🍰
  
• Teacher asked Johnny, What’s the opposite of “up”? Johnny: “Down,” unless it’s Monday! 😆
  
• Little Johnny asked, Can I have a bookmark? Teacher said, Sure! Johnny replied, Great, I’ll never lose my place in this joke book! 📖
  
• Johnny said, Why don’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts. 💀
  
• Little Johnny said, My math book is sad because it has too many problems. ➗
  
• Johnny told his teacher, My dog ate my math homework. Teacher: That’s paws-itively unbelievable! 🐾
  

Cheeky Little Johnny Jokes That’ll Make You Smile 😏✨

• Little Johnny said, Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! 🌾
  
• Johnny told his mom, I’m reading a book on anti-gravity — it’s impossible to put down! 📚
  
• Teacher: Johnny, why are you late? Johnny: Because of the sign that said “School Ahead, Go Slow!” 🛑
  
• Johnny said, Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired! 🚲
  
• Little Johnny said, What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta! 🍝
  
• Johnny asked, How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it! 🤧💃
  
• Little Johnny said, What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot! 🥕
  
• Johnny said, Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it’d be a foot! 👃🦶
  
• Little Johnny asked, What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese! 🧀
  
• Johnny said, What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle! ⛄️
  
• Little Johnny told his mom, Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs! 🐝
  
• Johnny asked, What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator! 🐊
  
• Little Johnny said, Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up! 🥚
  

Little Johnny Jokes for Kids: Safe and Fun for Everyone 👶🧸

• Little Johnny asked, Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy! 🍪
  
• Johnny said, What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear! 🐻
  
• Teacher: Johnny, what’s 2+2? Johnny: 5. Teacher: Why? Johnny: Because I like 5 better! 🤣
  
• Johnny said, Why did the frog take the bus to work? Because his car got toad! 🐸
  
• Little Johnny said, What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer! 🐂
  
• Johnny asked, What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You think it’s R, but it’s the C! 🏴‍☠️
  
• Little Johnny said, What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite! ❄️
  
• Johnny said, Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems! ➕
  
• Little Johnny told his mom, How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall! 🍋
  
• Johnny asked, Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! 🍅
  
• Little Johnny said, What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus! 🦖
  
• Johnny said, What’s brown and sticky? A stick! 🌳
  
• Little Johnny told his teacher, Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus! 💻
  

Little Johnny School Jokes That Teachers Secretly Love 📚✏️

• Teacher: Johnny, what’s the formula for water? Johnny: H I J K L M N O (because H to O is water!)
  
• Johnny said, Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake! 🍰
  
• Teacher asked, Johnny, spell “orange.” Johnny: “O-R-A-N-G-E.” Teacher: Good! Johnny: See, I can do it! 🍊
  
• Johnny said, Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems! ➗
  
• Teacher: Johnny, can you give me a sentence with the word ‘umbrella’? Johnny: Yes, ‘John has an umbrella,’ but he doesn’t use it. ☂️
  
• Johnny said, Why did the pencil break up with the paper? It found her too sketchy! ✏️
  
• Teacher asked Johnny, Why are you always late? Johnny: Because the bell never rings on time! ⏰
  
• Johnny said, What’s a teacher’s favorite nation? Expla-nation!
  
• Teacher asked Johnny, Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? To go to high school! 🪜
  
• Johnny said, Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! ⚛️
  
• Teacher said, Johnny, use ‘yellow’ in a sentence. Johnny: The banana is yellow and so am I sometimes! 🍌
  
• Johnny said, Why did the computer go to school? To improve its bytes! 💾
  
• Teacher: Johnny, what’s your favorite subject? Johnny: Lunch! 🍽️
  

Funny Little Johnny Jokes for Adults—Clean but Witty 😉🎉

• Little Johnny asked his dad, Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks! 🥁
  
• Johnny said, I told my boss I was sick… he said, “You don’t look well.” So I said, “I don’t feel well either.”
  
• Johnny said, I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. 😲
  
• Little Johnny told his mom, I want to be a comedian… she said, You’re already making me laugh!
  
• Johnny said, I don’t trust stairs—they’re always up to something.
  
• Johnny asked, Why did the scarecrow win a promotion? Because he was outstanding in his field!
  
• Little Johnny said, I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
  
• Johnny said, I stayed up all night to see where the sun went… then it dawned on me.
  
• Little Johnny told his friend, I wanted to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
  
• Johnny said, I’m on a whiskey diet—I’ve lost three days already. 🥃
  
• Little Johnny said, Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
  
• Johnny told his wife, You make me smile like an idiot sometimes.
  
• Little Johnny said, What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
  

Little Johnny Dad Jokes That Are Pun-tastic 👨‍👧‍👦🤣

• Little Johnny told his dad, Can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, I don’t think they’ll fit me. 👟
  
• Johnny said, What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef! 🐄
  
• Dad asked Johnny, How do you organize a space party? Johnny: You planet! 🌌
  
• Johnny said, Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one! ⛳️
  
• Dad said, Johnny, you’re grounded. Johnny: I’ll be up in a minute.
  
• Johnny asked, Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Dad: Because they make up everything!
  
• Dad told Johnny, What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Johnny: Nacho cheese!
  
• Johnny said, Why did the bicycle fall over? Dad: Because it was two-tired!
  
• Dad asked, What do you call a pile of cats? Johnny: A meowtain! 🐱
  
• Johnny said, How do you make holy water? Dad: You boil the hell out of it!
  
• Dad asked Johnny, Why did the tomato blush? Johnny: Because it saw the salad dressing! 🍅
  
• Johnny said, What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dad: Fsh!
  
• Dad told Johnny, What did the ocean say to the beach? Johnny: Nothing, it just waved! 🌊
  

Quick Little Johnny Jokes to Share Anytime, Anywhere ⏰📲

• Little Johnny said, Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go! 🎈
  
• Johnny said, What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant! 🐘
  
• Little Johnny told his teacher, What do you call a pig that knows karate? Pork chop! 🐷
  
• Johnny said, What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador! 🐕✨
  
• Little Johnny said, Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
  
• Johnny said, What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
  
• Little Johnny asked, What’s brown and sticky? A stick! 🌳
  
• Johnny said, Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy!
  
• Little Johnny told his friend, What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus!
  
• Johnny said, Why don’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
  
• Little Johnny said, How do you organize a space party? You planet!
  
• Johnny told his mom, What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
  
• Little Johnny said, Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  

😜 Little Johnny Jokes for Adults

• Little Johnny saw his dad with a beer and asked, “Can I have one?”
  Dad said, “Can your stomach handle it?”
  Johnny replied, “It handled your cooking last night!” 🍺😆
• Teacher asked Johnny to name an animal starting with “E.”
  Johnny said, “Elephant.”
  Teacher: “Good! Another?”
  Johnny: “Another elephant!” 🐘😂
• Mom: “Johnny, why are you late?”
  Johnny: “Because the sign said ‘School ahead – go slow.’” 🚸🤣
• Johnny saw his parents kissing and said, “You two should get a room!”
  Dad: “We’re married!”
  Johnny: “Then get two rooms. You need privacy!” 💋🙈
• Johnny told the doctor, “I think I’m invisible.”
  Doctor: “Who said that?” 👻😅
• Little Johnny asked his mom, “Can I have a baby brother?”
  Mom: “Sure, I’ll put your dad on it.”
  Johnny: “Can you put him on it tonight?” 🍼😂
• Johnny’s teacher said, “What comes after 69?”
  Johnny: “Mouthwash!” 😳🤣
• His mom said, “Do you know what manners are?”
  Johnny replied, “Yeah, the things you forget when food tastes too good!” 🍗😋
• Dad: “Johnny, stop lying!”
  Johnny: “I’m not lying, I’m just storytelling!” 📖😎
• Johnny was asked to use “definitely” in a sentence.
  He said, “The sky is definitely green.”
  Teacher: “It’s blue.”
  Johnny: “You just wanted me to be definite!” 🌈😂

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😂 Little Johnny Jokes One Liners

• Little Johnny: “I don’t need anger management — you need to stop making me mad!” 😡🤣
• When life gives Johnny lemons, he sells them and buys candy instead 🍬💸
• Johnny told Alexa to do his homework. Alexa disconnected herself. 💻😅
• Johnny’s report card looked like the WiFi signal — weak and fading 📶😆
• He said he’d clean his room when WiFi is gone. It’s been a year. 🧹📱
• Johnny’s teacher said, “Be positive!” So he said, “I’m positive I hate math!” ➗😂
• When Johnny’s mom said “Be quiet,” he turned the volume down on his personality 🔇😎
• Johnny thinks “adulting” is just paying bills and saying “I’m tired.” 💸🥱
• Little Johnny doesn’t chase dreams — he naps until they come true 😴💭
• Johnny’s motto: “If plan A fails, blame plan B.” 🧠😄

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🏫 Little Johnny Jokes Teacher

• Teacher: “Why are you late?”
  Johnny: “Because the bell rang before I got here.” 🕒😅
• Teacher: “If I give you two cats and another two, how many do you have?”
  Johnny: “Five.”
  Teacher: “No, listen carefully!”
  Johnny: “You don’t know my neighbor — she gave me one already.” 🐱😂
• Teacher: “What’s the longest word in English?”
  Johnny: “Smiles — because there’s a mile between the S’s!” 😁📘
• Teacher: “Use the word ‘beans’ in a sentence.”
  Johnny: “We are human beans.” 🌱🤣
• Teacher: “How old is your father?”
  Johnny: “Same as me.”
  Teacher: “How’s that possible?”
  Johnny: “He became a dad when I was born.” 👶😂
• Teacher: “Who discovered America?”
  Johnny: “Someone who got lost!” 🧭😆
• Teacher: “Johnny, you didn’t write your essay!”
  Johnny: “I told ChatGPT to do it, but it ran out of jokes!” 🤖🤣
• Teacher: “What’s the chemical formula for water?”
  Johnny: “H I J K L M N O.”
  Teacher: “What?”
  Johnny: “You said it’s H to O!” 💧😂
• Teacher: “Can you tell me what a noun is?”
  Johnny: “Sure — it’s the name of anything you can Google.” 🌍😄
• Teacher: “Why are you staring at the clock?”
  Johnny: “I’m waiting for time to pass my test.” ⏰😴

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😈 Dirty Little Johnny Jokes Collection List

(Playfully cheeky but clean enough for adults — nothing explicit)

• Johnny said, “Mom, are babies made in heaven?”
  Mom: “Yes.”
  Johnny: “Then why do you and Dad always lock the door?” 😏🚪
• Dad said, “Johnny, don’t use bad words.”
  Johnny: “Then stop giving me your WiFi password!” 📶😂
• Teacher asked, “What’s the difference between like and love?”
  Johnny: “That depends on who’s asking — Mom or my crush!” 💘😆
• Johnny saw a shampoo bottle that said “For Extra Volume,” so he shouted in the shower 🎤🧴🤣
• Mom: “Why are you blushing?”
  Johnny: “Because your search history popped up on the TV!” 📺😳
• Johnny told his crush, “You make my Google search history look innocent.” 💻💞
• He asked his dad, “What’s a secret?”
  Dad: “Something you don’t tell your mom.”
  Johnny: “Then you have a lot of secrets.” 🤫😏
• Johnny saw a movie rated “Adults Only” and said, “Finally, something just for me!” 🍿😅
• Teacher: “Why were you giggling in class?”
  Johnny: “Because my brain downloaded a dirty joke!” 🧠😂
• Mom: “Why are you smiling at your phone?”
  Johnny: “Because autocorrect just made my message PG-13!” 📱🤣

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FAQs:

Who is Little Johnny?

Little Johnny is a fictional character known for his cheeky, funny, and sometimes mischievous jokes.

Are Little Johnny jokes suitable for kids?

Yes! Many Little Johnny jokes are family-friendly, though some can be cheeky or adult-themed.

Can I share Little Johnny jokes on social media?

Absolutely! They are perfect for sharing laughs with friends and followers.

What makes a good Little Johnny joke?

A good Little Johnny joke is clever, quick, and often plays on word humor or innocent mischief.

Where can I find more Little Johnny jokes?

You can find more unique Little Johnny jokes right here, updated regularly with fresh content.

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Conclusion:

Whether you’re looking for a quick laugh, a joke to lighten the mood, or the perfect Little Johnny joke to share with friends and family, this article has you covered.

Each category offers fresh, original puns crafted to keep the laughs coming.

Bookmark this page and come back anytime you need a smile or a clever pun inspired by the legendary Little Johnny. Keep the fun alive, and remember — laughter is the best medicine!